Grandpa's Cars

The Month After Christmas
'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house> Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste. All the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt. And prepared once again to do battle with dirt-- I said to myself, as I only can. "You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished 'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick. I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore--
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!