ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING, Worth watching - will make your day

If you have not already had the pleasure, you are in for a treat! Enjoy...
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please click on:The interview

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!

A FARMER DECIDED HE WANTED TO GO TO TOWN AND SEE A MOVIE.THE TICKET AGENT ASKED,"SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?"

THE OLD FARMER SAID, "THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER CHUCK. WHEREVER I GO, CHUCK GOES." "I'M SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT. "WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER."THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED CHUCK DOWN HIS OVERALLS. THEN HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET, AND ENTERED THE THEATER.HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE.






THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER BEGAN TO SQUIRM. THE OLD FARMER UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCK COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE."MARGE," WHISPERED MILDRED."WHAT?" SAID MARGE."I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT.""WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED MARGE?"HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT", WHISPERED MILDRED."WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT", SAID MARGE.. "AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL""I THOUGHT SO TOO", SAID MILDRED, "BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN!"

"HAPPY FALL Y'ALL"






From one pumpkin to another!!!!!!!

A woman was asked by a coworker, 'What is it like to be a Christian?'

The coworker replied, 'It is like being a pumpkin.' God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff.

He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see.'

This was passed on to me by another pumpkin. Now it's your turn to pass it to other pumpkins.

I liked this enough to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch.



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This is one of the
Best prayers
I think I have ever read.
PRAY THIS EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT!!
IT WILL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE.
I started not to do this, but as I read it...
I understood God to say,
'You need a miracle tomorrow'
so here goes...Prov. 29:25 You never know
when God is going to bless you!!
Good things happen when
you least expect them to !!
Change the number in the subject box
when you forward it by adding one!!!
Dear Lord, I thank You for this day,
I thank You for my being able to see
and to hear this morning.
I'm blessed because You are
a forgiving and understanding God.
You have done so much for me
and You keep on blessing me.
Forgive me this day for everything
I have done, said, or thought
that was not pleasing to you.I ask now for Your forgiveness.
Please keep me safe
from all danger and harm.
Help me to start this day
with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.
Let me make the best of each and every day
to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.
Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things.
Let me not whine and whimper
about things I have over which I have no control.And give me the best response
when I'm pushed beyond my limits.I know that when I can't pray,
You listen to my heart.
Continue to use me to do Your will.
Continue to bless me that I may be
a blessing to others.
Keep me strong that I may help the weak...
Keep me uplifted that I may have
words of encouragement for others.
I pray for those who are lost
and can't find their way.
I pray for those who are misjudged
and misunderstood.
I pray for those who
don't know You intimately.
I pray for those who will delete this
without sharing it with others
I pray for those who don't believe.But I thank You because I believe
that God changes people and
God changes things.
I pray for all my sisters and brothers.
For each and every family member
in their households.
I pray for peace, love and joy
in their homes; that they are out of debt
and all their needs are met.
I pray that every eye that reads this
knows there is no problem, circumstance,
or situation greater than God.
Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight.
I pray that these words be received
into the hearts of every eye that sees them
in Jesus' name. Amen!
If you prayed this prayer,
change the number in the subject box
before forwarding the message
so people can see how many
other people have done so.
God Bless You! ! ! ! !
Just repeat this phrase and see how God moves!!
God I love you and I need you,
please come into my heart...
Pass this message to 10 people except you and me.
You will receive a miracle tomorrow.God will bless you.Know that you are already blessed
by the person who sent this to you.
It couldn't hurt!

XEROX IS DOING SOMETHING COOL
If you go to this web site,
www.LetsSayThanks.com
you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq .
You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to a member of the armed services.
How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!!
It is FREE and it only takes a second.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?
Whether you are for or against the war, our soldiers over there need to know we are behind them.
This takes just 10 se conds and it's a wonderful way to say thank you. We can never say enough thank you's.
Thanks for taking to time to support our military!
JUST DO IT,, SAY THANKS TO THE GUYS AND GALS AWAY FROM HOME TO LET THEM KNOW WE ARE ALL THINKING OF THEM,,,, GRANDPA!!!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!

DAD AT THE MALL.> > I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some> new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food> court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting> next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all> different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My> dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and> find him staring every time.> > When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically> asked, 'What's the matter ! old man , never done> anything wild n your life?'> > Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that> I would not choke on his response; knowing he would> have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat> an eye in his response, 'Got drunk once and had sex> with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my> son.'> >